This was apparently in the Washington Post. The title of the article was
"Best Come Back Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male
resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch 23:38hrs on Friday.

Lawrence will be charged at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday
with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public
intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided
to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was
no one around for miles. At least I thought there wasn't." he stated in
a phone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road,
picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate for his purpose, cut a
hole in it and proceeded to satisfy his "need."

"Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident
embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a
Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience
until Officer Brenda Taylor approached.

"This was an unusual situation for sure," said Officer Taylor.
"I walked up to Lawrence and he was just...... pumping away at this
pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.
"I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, what are you doing having sex
with a pumpkin?" He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was
there, and then looked me straight in the face and said ......


"A pumpkin? F*ck me, is it midnight already?"