Schalk Burger is so tuff that:-

When Schalk Burger does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up; he's
pushing the Earth down.

When Schalk Burger goes swimming he doesn't get wet, the water gets
Schalk Burgered.

When the Tokoloshe goes to sleep every night, he checks under his bed
for Schalk Burger.

Schalk Burger counted to infinity - twice.

Schalk Burger invented every colour. Except pink. Percy Montgomery
invented pink.

Schalk Burger's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Schalk Burger gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Schalk Burger can slam a revolving door.

Schalk Burger's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd;
No-one fools Schalk Burger .

Schalk Burger can speak Braille.

Schalk Burger's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.

Superman owns a pair of Schalk Burger pyjamas.

Schalk Burger owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him
win the 1993 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a
Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a
green #4 card from the game Uno.

Schalk Burger sleeps with a night light. Not because Schalk Burger is
afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Schalk Burger .

Once a cobra bit Schalk Burger's leg. After five days of excruciating
pain, the cobra died.

Schalk Burger divides by zero.

When Schalk Burger exercises, the machine gets stronger.

Schalk Burger doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now".

Schalk Burger can kill two stones with one bird.

The only time Schalk Burger was wrong was when he thought he had made
a mistake.